Choosing a spouse is never easy. As followers of Christ, we must make sure that we choose one who is equally yoked with us. But, what does that really mean? Is it merely marrying another churchgoer or something deeper?

When we think of being “equally yoked,” it is more involved than just marrying another Christian. Marriage is more than just the title and it requires direction from God to find the right union. Our focus should not be on just finding anyone to fill the role, but on finding someone who is truly walking in the blessings of God. In other words, if you are pursuing God with your whole heart, soul, mind, and strength, all you need to do is look around and see who else is at that level, and choose a mate like that.

Think of it this way: when you are in a three-legged race, if your partner is not running at the same speed as you, he or she will hold you back and trip both of you. Likewise, someone who is not following God at your same pace will only hold you back in the long run!

So, what if you’re already married and your spouse isn’t following God with your intensity or not following Him at all? Paul addressed this in 1 Corinthians 7:12 (NKJV), “12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her.” So, if you are already unequally yoked, and your spouse wishes to stay married, you can still honor that covenant.

Marriage is a partnership, and it takes work! God wants our marriages to survive so that we can honor Him through it. When we make that conscious choice to find a mate and to uphold our marriage covenant, we are honoring and obeying God and His plans for love and marriage. Miracles are released through obedience. When we obey God and choose a mate with whom we are equally yoked, or remain faithful to our current marriage, we are expressing total faith and trust in God!

Remember, love is not an accident, but a choice! Marriage is not always easy, so being in an equally yoked union will allow you to work together, through the good times and the bad. Regardless of whether you have a spouse who is equally yoked or not, you must make an active choice to constantly love them and honor your marriage vows! Sometimes it will come easy, but other times, it won’t. Either way, it’s up to you to continue to love them through it all!

Living in His Grace and Peace,

Dr. Derek Grier

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